Marie Fortsch

Reviewing the Arts

2-25-12

Black Dogs Review

The gangs all here. Patrick, Alex (fresh out of jail), Frenchy, and stereo stealing Keith make up the ultimate bad boy group.  Black Dogs written by Jason Buhrmester is the ultimate rock and roll book.  It’s a tale about those four guys and their past and present crime record.  Their new goal is to do the unthinkable and rob a band, Led Zeppelin.  Patrick was involved in the crime that landed Alex in jail so at his “Welcome Home” party he suggests this crazy idea to rob Zeppelin.  Why would anyone who just got out of jail four hours ago want to be involved with a serious robbery?  Patrick is one with words and made a pretty convincing argument on how it will work. 

You’ll be on the edge of your seat with each page turn wondering how they are going to pull this one off.  They have a solid plan but of course many things go wrong.  One of the buds ends up in jail which leads them to find a new fourth member.  The only semi capable guy is Danny who batched the last one because he saw a snake and now Alex has the bite marks to prove it.  Danny is a high school dropout and in his twenties he’s got nothing going for him except for these robberies.  They have no choice but to take a gamble on him.  Frenchy also told Zeppelins crew that he had an extremely rare guitar, 1958 Les Paul Guitar, and he would be showing it to them in New York City at the Drake hotel.  This of course brought up a set of new issues.  How were they going to get that goddamn guitar? There are so many times where you wonder how are they going to pull this off. 

“Black Sabbath” is a constant theme throughout; Patrick loves them and is constantly talking about them or wearing their name on his t-shirt.  Alex doesn’t even like Led Zeppelin which makes it easier for him to want to rob them.  They all know the band carries loads of cash in a briefcase.  There are roughly 200,000 in the briefcase the night they want to steal it.  Now that’s a whole lot of cash.  They plan to split it four ways if they pull it off.  They also have to find out who is carrying this briefcase and where it will end up.  They guess it will be put into a safe in the hotel.  A safe they would have to break into.  If they don’t see who has the money and what room its going into then everything is seriously messed up. 

            These guys have some serious balls to try and bullshit their way through each obstacle.  Do people actually do this and get away with it?  Apparently in this book they do.  Motorcycle gangs, Misty Mountain Hoppers fan club, funk band called the New York Giants, they cross paths with every random person you can imagine.  The second to last chapter is called “getting away with murder” but do they pull this one off? You will have to read to find out. 

            Remember it’s the “possibly true story” of a robbery that happened to the band Led Zeppelin.  Buhrmester has a way with words and is a fabulous story teller.  Whether the story is true or false you will be left wanting more.  Even the writing of each intro to the chapters is cool and different.  You feel like a badass with every page turn.  By the end of the book you will feel like you smoked a pack of cigarettes, chugged a six pack, or smoked a blunt and who wouldn’t want that?

            

Marie Fortsch

2-16-12

Reviewing the Arts

Bridesmaids

Kristen Wig seriously knocks it out of the park with the movie Bridesmaids.  We all know she’s hilarious in all of her SNL skits but in this movie she really shines.  From the first scene to the last you’ll be dying of laughter.  The movie is about two best friends and one of them is getting married. The other, Kristen Wig, hits a rough patch in life and has to be there for her friend, Maya Rudolph, as maid of honor.  Sounds like a cheesy chick flick, right? You’re completely wrong on that one.  Yes it has some chick flick moments however the actors and script are amazing.  Wig and Rudolph are perfect and extremely funny.  Melissa McCarthy in some ways steals the show.  She is the overweight manly sister of the husband to be.  McCarthy commits 100 percent to her character; every scene she is in you will be laughing.  Her husband even makes a cameo and they are hilarious to watch.  Each actor fits their role perfectly, Rose Byrne plays the stuck up snob, Wendi McLendon-Covey the drunk, and Ellie Kamper the innocent friend.  Each character is a typical stereotype of women which they pulled off perfectly.  They all bring different humor to this movie and they each make it an amazing hit. The story line and plot are so “been there done that” but they find ways to make it new and exciting.  Like every other movie the main character, Wig, falls in love as well but she does it so unwillingly and funny that you can’t help but laugh.  This movie appeals to so many different people because of its charmingly funny script and actors.  Whoever was in charge of casting this movie, serious props to you.  People say it’s the “Hangover” for girls and in some ways it is but you’ll be able to see it’s so much more than that.  It shouldn’t even be in that category, the “Hangover” was great but Bridesmaids is so new and different that it should be in its own category.  You’ll be quoting this movie for days and you won’t be able to watch it just once.  Go grab a copy and get ready to laugh your ass off.  

Rihanna

Marie Fortsch

2-3-12

Reviewing the Arts

“Talk That Talk”

Boring is the perfect word to describe Rihanna and her new album “Talk That Talk”.  We Found Love could be an  instant hit, it has DJ Calvin Harris in it and talks about finding love in a hopeless place……been there done that.  This whole album has the feel of been there done that.   Her last album had some edgy songs like S&M but this album had none of that.  She tried (and failed) to use a DJ in one of her songs like Nicki Minaji and other artists but We Found Love  just sucked.  It’s catchy because she says the same thing over and over again.  We get it Rihanna you found love in a hopeless place.  Talk That Talk you think would be good featuring Jay-Z but his rap isn’t anything special.  In one line he says “Had it by a bladder, she like ‘oh I gotta pee’” Who wants to hear anything about going to the bathroom when they are listening to music……no one.  He also raps about “getting dome”, Jay-Z you have officially stooped down to sounding like all the other trashy rappers in the music biz. Rihanna tries to mix it up with slow and upbeat songs and even has a “touching” love song called Farewell but there is nothing “touching” about it. The whole album sounds the same, each song blends into the next and not in a good way.  Her last album had a lot more edgy songs and they differentiated her from the other leading ladies in music right now.  But this album knocked her down a few levels, it’s all too safe.  There is not one song that makes you think “that was a risk”.  Her titles trick you into thinking this album will sound new and fresh.  She has a song called Birthday Cake which is a pretty cool name.  Rihanna, birthday, and a cake………sounds pretty awesome but it wasn’t even close to being awesome it was again BORING.  Was she actually drunk when she recorded Drunk on Love? It sure sounds like it.  Was everyone drunk when she recorded this entire album? It sounds like they had no time and some random person wrote the lyrics.  Half of the songs don’t even make sense.  Even the album cover is bad, just Rihanna licking her top lip and a fake tattoo that says “Talk That Talk”……..original.  If you want to waste money and time then buy this album.

Rihanna Review

Marie Fortsch

2-3-12

Reviewing the Arts

“Talk That Talk”

Boring is the perfect word to describe Rihanna and her new album “Talk That Talk”.  We Found Love could be an  instant hit, it has DJ Calvin Harris in it and talks about finding love in a hopeless place……been there done that.  This whole album has the feel of been there done that.   Her last album had some edgy songs like S&M but this album had none of that.  She tried (and failed) to use a DJ in one of her songs like Nicki Minaji and other artists but We Found Love  just sucked.  It’s catchy because she says the same thing over and over again.  We get it Rihanna you found love in a hopeless place.  Talk That Talk you think would be good featuring Jay-Z but his rap isn’t anything special.  In one line he says “Had it by a bladder, she like ‘oh I gotta pee’” Who wants to hear anything about going to the bathroom when they are listening to music……no one.  He also raps about “getting dome”, Jay-Z you have officially stooped down to sounding like all the other trashy rappers in the music biz. Rihanna tries to mix it up with slow and upbeat songs and even has a “touching” love song called Farewell but there is nothing “touching” about it. The whole album sounds the same, each song blends into the next and not in a good way.  Her last album had a lot more edgy songs and they differentiated her from the other leading ladies in music right now.  But this album knocked her down a few levels, it’s all too safe.  There is not one song that makes you think “that was a risk”.  Her titles trick you into thinking this album will sound new and fresh.  She has a song called Birthday Cake which is a pretty cool name.  Rihanna, birthday, and a cake………sounds pretty awesome but it wasn’t even close to being awesome it was again BORING.  Was she actually drunk when she recorded Drunk on Love? It sure sounds like it.  Was everyone drunk when she recorded this entire album? It sounds like they had no time and some random person wrote the lyrics.  Half of the songs don’t even make sense.  Even the album cover is bad, just Rihanna licking her top lip and a fake tattoo that says “Talk That Talk”……..original.  If you want to waste money and time then buy this album.